Relax. Breathe in. Breathe out. This mantra has been my anchor for four years, ever since my anxiety reached its peak. While it’s been with me all along, I never really acknowledged it.
It took someone special, someone who listened without judgment and understood my inner workings, for me to open up. That’s when I realized there were parts of me that needed acceptance, not from the world, but from myself. This person became my safe haven, a patient ear, my source of comfort.
The journey wasn’t easy. He tried to explain, but it was at a time when I couldn’t even hear my own thoughts or voice. Those days were consumed with work on my projects, the pursuit of my courses, and the journey to be near him. Working tirelessly for my own betterment, the vision of a shared future with him propelled me forward. Yet, amidst the frenzy, I faltered. I forgot, or perhaps I was simply unable, to give him the attention he needed, to be there when he needed me the most.
Little did I know, my inability to bridge the gap and offer the solace he sought led to our parting ways. I messed up, and in the process, lost him. Forever, it seems.
Accepting this truth was a hard pill to swallow. I had to refocus on my own life and slowly learn to love myself. This journey began by taking the time to move on from my best friend and penning down my thoughts until I found my closure. It left me bewildered once again, just like the first time, making me question myself.
That realization shattered me. Slowly, I understood there was no turning back, and he indeed had valid reasons for his decision. I accept that. In the aftermath, I began the process of loving myself.
Now, I find myself in a new world, a new country, reevaluating my path and daring to dream a new dream.